5 words for you

i think back to what a friend's mom tried to tell me how people don't care what i do.. okay- but then i don't understand why my family tries to make it look like they actually care about me. if no one cares about what I do- then no one should care whether my family "cares" about me. my mom is too stupid to realize that and so that makes amanda in the same boat since she's been absolutely NO help with actually advocating for me to assist me to successfully move to a different state. do they consider that *THEY* are one of the biggest reasons why i don't wanna live here? all i wish for amanda is that SHE gets faced with the same difficulty of not being able to get what SHE wants to get done because everyone assumes she's too disabled. might not happen now.. but what goes around, comes around. they've given me absolutely no opportunities to better myself and haven't helped me progress with MY OWN life. i see no reason to remain in this opportunity-less hell hole of a state especially with assholes trying to profit off my life or look like better people (certain family members.. my mom, amanda, and amy- MY SISTER, not trustee) than they actually are by urging me to go to some sad excuse of a "rehabilitation center" so they can look like they actually care about me. IF you assholes REALLY cared about me as much as you try to insinuate- YOU'D RECOGNIZE THAT I HAVEN'T REALLY FELT LIKE THOSE DICKS AT COURAGE KENNY WERE EVER REALLY "HELPING" ME. THE ONE PERSON WHO DID ACTUALLY CARE ABOUT ME- REALIZED I WAS TELLING THE TRUTH ABOUT FEELING LIKE COURAGE KENNY NEVER WAS HELPING ME WENT OUT (my grandma OBVIOUSLY) AND FOUND TRAM HOLLOWAY, WHO HOOKED HIS ARP THERAPY PADS UP TO MY BODY AND THEY GENERATED ARP WAVES INTO MY MUSCLES- WAKING THEM UP AND ACTUALLY HELPING ME TO BECOME AMBULATORY. i remember him telling my grandma he'd have me walking again before i was actually independently ambulatory. i could tell my grandma didn't believe him but she encouraged his work anyway. i'm glad she did and i'm glad she found him.. more than i could EVER say about amanda and/or my own damn mom. i don't even own a damn wheelchair and i only have a cane, one trekking pole, and a walker to assist me in walking now and i'm slowly getting stronger so that i really only use the cane.